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I Am NOT Alive [01 Apr 2007|09:05pm]

This journal is for all intents and purposes being shut DOWN!

Kyle is an apocryphal character.  He is just a product of an author's imagination.  He doesn't really exist, and is for fun. 

This has always been stated on the profile, but people didn't notice I guess.  I do NOT want anyone hurt and poeple have been hurt by other people's fake journals.  I always stated this was a fake, but like the famous broadcast of the radio play <i>The War of the Worlds</i>, people didn't notice.

It's sad, but that means this journal MUST be over so no one gets hurt.
 

Say Something!

Okay, wisenboi, Here I Am! [14 Jan 2006|11:12am]
Hey...

To say my life has been eventual would be an understatement. I have two lovers. And so do they. What I mean to say is that we are together...

My life has been a roller coaster. Highs and some LOWS. But things are smoothing out and I think I am starting a powerful part of my life.

Months ago my bf and I had sex with my ex in a bathroom called NV.

And then we had lots of sex with him. And we went to SFO (that is what natives call San Francisco) and it was amazing. Out of bed and in bed... I was happy at how well my men got a long too.

Then Wyatt came to visit us and told us he was getting transferred back.

And then he was here and I realized my lover, Alex, was ... well ... cheating with my ex, Wyatt.

It was horrible and I can't go on now about it. I got nudged by wisenboi to make an entry so I am letting you guys know I am alive...

I thought my bf was going to leave me ...

I think he almost did ...

And then something happened ... It was so weird. My bf had to go out of town and my ex came over and it was like we'd never broken up and he told me he could never take Alex from me, that he was in love with him but he'd wanted to steal me and then they got serious and would I consider a three-way.

And I am considering it...

There is so much to tell and I'll fill you in... If I don't... NUDGE ME AGAIN!

I need friends! Thanks wisenboi for nudging me.

I was avoiding LJ cuz I think I was blaming it somehow for getting me into such wild trouble. I was thinking I needed to dump everyone and get me a quite boring boyfriend and be socially domesticated. That since I had tried to explore possibilities and stuff, since I had gotten unconventional and stuff that I had ruined my life...

But now... I guess once you go through the door you can never really truly go back...

Wish me luck...
6 Said Somethings| Say Something!

Thank You... [19 Jul 2005|12:03pm]
...crazymeow, for noticing that I haven't been posting and for asking where I am...

I will tell you what I told him...

I am alive. Some bad things happened...I got fired a few weeks ago and I am still in shock. AND some weird and possibly wonderful things have been happening to me and mine...

My lover and I are leaving tomorrow morning for a vacation with my ex-lover...

I will be gone over a week and will fill everyone in when I get back...

Wish me luck...

...believe or not, we've been getting really...close to my ex...

I am excited and scared at the same time...
11 Said Somethings| Say Something!

My FIRST Poll...I Hope it Works... [21 Jun 2005|04:50pm]
Poll #517471 Me and Sex (Part One)

When it comes to my age...

- I am under 18 (damnit)
3(8.1%)
- I am under 18 and like it!
3(8.1%)
- I am over 18 (damn it)
0(0.0%)
- I am over 18 (thank GOD)
7(18.9%)
- I am over 21
8(21.6%)
- I am over 25
6(16.2%)
- I am over 28
1(2.7%)
- I am over 30
2(5.4%)
- I am over 35
2(5.4%)
- I am over 40
1(2.7%)
- I am over 45
0(0.0%)
- I am over 50
0(0.0%)

When it comes to GAY sex... (check those that apply)

- I am a complete and total virgin, never even jacked off with another guy
2(5.3%)
- I am pretty much a virgin, all I've done is jerk off with another guy(s)
1(2.6%)
- I've sucked cock
0(0.0%)
- I've gotten gotten blown
1(2.6%)
- I've rimmed
0(0.0%)
- I've been rimmed
0(0.0%)
- I've fucked a guy
0(0.0%)
- I've been fucked by a guy
0(0.0%)
- I've been kinky
0(0.0%)

For those who've sucked cock...

- I won't swallow (scared)
4(12.1%)
- I won't swallow cuz I think it's gross
7(21.2%)
- I swallow but don't care for it, I want to please the other man
5(15.2%)
- I fuckin' LOVE to swallow
3(9.1%)
- Of course I swallow, what's the point if you don't swallow???
6(18.2%)
7 Said Somethings| Say Something!

Who is Smart Enough to Know Where THIS Comes From... [17 Jun 2005|01:36am]
If you want to view
Paradise!
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to do it
Wanta change the world?
There's nothing
...to it.......

There is no...
...life I know...
To compare with pure imagination...
Living there...
...you'll be free...
...if you truly...
wish
to be
29 Said Somethings| Say Something!

Can't Go Into Details Right Now... [12 Jun 2005|01:44pm]
...but we spent the night with Wyatt at his hotel and really spent the whole weekend with him and GAWD could I have two husbands. It would be awesome. It has been wonderful and sweet and sentimental and there has been NO jealousy and we've just hung out and had a GREAT time!

Thank goodness we filled the cat food bowl! LOL!

They're calling for me! Gotta go!
3 Said Somethings| Say Something!

Tagging Some People! [12 Jun 2005|12:10pm]
Tagged by chilangito...

List 6 six of your current favorite songs (no order), and then tag 6 of your LiveJournal friends to do the same.

1. Seasons of Love - from RENT
2. Proud - Heather Small
3. Don't Dream It's Over - Sixpence None the Richer
4. Breathless - The Corrs
5. Dive into the Pool - Pepper MaShay
6. Tine and Tide - Basia

(strange that none of my current favs are new songs...recent hits have been boring me as of late...)

Tagging:

beatniknight
brak666
crazymeow
iconoclast
nmybriefs
wisenboi
4 Said Somethings| Say Something!

RENT....the movie... [08 Jun 2005|11:30pm]
...and I sure don't mean go out and rent a movie...

...I mean the trailer for "Rent: the Movie" is now out!

And OMG! It stars members of the original Broadway cast (!!!!!!!) including Adam Pascal and Rosario Dawson!

If you have AOL check it out RIGHT HERE!!!!!

**breath, Kyle, breath!**

I know there is a Quick Time version but I don't know how to direct you to it...

It comes out November 11 of this year and I only had a vauge knowledge that they were even making a movie of "Rent!!!"

**Bounce**Bounce**Bounce**Bounce**Bounce**Bounce**!!

I think it is four or five times I've seen it now and it is so f*cking COOL! And the music is totally awesome!

Here is a synopsis in case you have been living with a tribe of South American indians all your life and you have never heard of the play:

"The big-screen adaptation of Jonathan Larson's 1996 Pulitzer Prize and Tony Award winning musical (which itself was based on Puccini's 'La Boheme'), 'Rent' chronicles a year in the lives of a group of New York City East Villagers. During a 525,600-minute span of their existence, these bohemians grapple with everything from paying the rent on time to being rent apart by love, drugs, AIDS and death. Featuring Rosario Dawson and members of the original theatrical cast -- including Anthony Rapp, Adam Pascal, Taye Diggs and Jesse L. Martin -- 'Rent' shows that even amidst such adversity love and hope can thrive if only we realize that there is no day but today."

With so many members of the original cast, can there be too many complaints about a movie version?

I sure as shit hope not!

Here are the lyrics to the song hinted at in the synopsis...

Seasons of Love

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love?
How about love? How about love?
Measure in love.
Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan.
525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned,
or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned,
or the way that she died.

It’s time now to sing out,
tho the story never ends
let's celebrate
remember
a year in the life of friends.
Remember the love!
Remember the love!
Remember the love!
Measure in love.
Seasons of love! Seasons of love.


And I thought I was waiting for "Phantom!"
16 Said Somethings| Say Something!

Hmmmmm..... [07 Jun 2005|08:16am]
There are people who just read journals but never make posts of their own, aren't there?

Maybe they just want sex stories? I don't know... Makes me feel like someone is peeking in my bedroom window when I don't know about it... Of course I DO sorta leave the curtains open so I am not bitching really...

If people friend you and you check their journals to see who they are to see if you want to friend them back and all they have are blank journals, what do you do?

I don't demand that someone ASK if they can friend me...but I think at the very least they should have something that I can read as well...what do you think?

...of course I doubt I am going to get a comment from those people who have friended me and have blank journals themselvs....
63 Said Somethings| Say Something!

Pepper MaShay Sings in KC! [07 Jun 2005|08:11am]
I was so happy she was here! I was just jealous reading someone's journal who is getting her for their Gay Pride and then she was here too!

To my utter amusement, a big part of Pepper MaShay (who sings "Dive into the Pool" in Queer as Folk), spent a lot of time talking about gay pride Saturday night. She "preached" about how we had to be proud about ALL our attributes - whether they be the color of our skin (she said pointing to her cheek) or our sexual nature and how we shouldn't let anyone put us all down! She was annoyed that Bush had one ("those voting machines had to be fixed!") and that this was going to be the last season of Queer as Folk ("they caved in to the religious right!").

We was funny and sweet and incredibly talented. I had no idea! I only knew I've wanted to hear her sing that song live since Queer as Folk first came out. She rocked the fucking HOUSE!

And wonderfully, she ended her performance with "Amazing Grace" and reminding us to take PRIDE in who and what we were. The place went bonkers.

Amusement because it was really nice to see and hear someone who has been the victim of prejudice talk about the same stuff I've been talking about. She's been in the trenches and come out a victor!

CHEERS for Pepper MaShay!
8 Said Somethings| Say Something!

OMG!!! We Had So Much Fun At Gay Pride This Year!!! [05 Jun 2005|11:27am]
This is the best Pride I've ever been to! Once again it was totally FREE!

The crowds were not quite as HUGE as they usually are, and I am sure it was because of the THREAT of rain. There was a lot of places with mud and my feet are very dark this morning! LOL! There were a lot of good spots too and we laid out a tarp as well as a blanket and had a F*CKING BLAST!!!!

The event took place at Liberty War Memorial, the only memorial and museum in the world dedicated solely to WWI. You have GOT to check out the picture to see why the fags of KC love it so much and we think it is soooo funny that that's where the event starting taking place as of last year.

We had so much fun that despite the fact we are tired, we are driving all the way the hell back in to Kansas City again today... We didn't have a damned CLUE as to who the headliners were - Josh Zukerman, Jim Verraros and Kimberly Locke (American Idol I think but they were terrific! There was lots of local talent, really, really, really GOOD local talent too! Only one dray act really, thank GAWD!!! I don't hate drag queens or anything, they are just people and they were INTRINSIC to the Stone Wall Riots, so we owe them a shit load, but I still don't get them. But I don't have to, do I? They are one more part of the WONDERFUL diversity of out gay culture...

Then to my SHOCK, I found out that Pepper MaShay was playing at this new club, NV, a big dance and video place that is hot with the young crowd. And she was fucking FANTASTIC! I have never been so impressed with that kind of performance. We were right there with her and she kept coming down in the crowd (pissing security off) and touching people (the right way) and she sounded EXACTLY as she does on the soundtrack to "Queer as Folk" (you know the song, "Dive into the Pool!?"). You know how so many people when you see them in real life you see they really aren't all that good, the shit has been mixed out of their voices in the studio so they sound really good?

Not Pepper MaShay! She was so good that at first I thought she was lip-sinking, but she kept ab-libbing and talking to the audience and saying the standard things like, "I love you too, baby..." and she was just so REAL!

Oh, hell! We had such an amazing time! And we flirted like crazy and bought t-shirts ("Queer as Fuck" and this one with art of a 50's house wife and a little balloon that said, "Spit? Swallow?" - it was hysterical).

I need to sign off and get to Pride. I'll report more later... Including a new little adventure!

HAPPY PRIDE!!!!!!!
7 Said Somethings| Say Something!

Happy Gay Pride Everyone! [04 Jun 2005|09:16am]
The rain might ruin ours here! We drove into KC last night only to find out the street blast had been canceled. We went ahead and went to a club for awhile though...I could have gotten naughty with this guy in the bathroom but I didn't...

And who knows today. The Pride Event won't be canceled, its rain or shine, and it POURED and POURED and POURED most of the day yesterday and ALL night last night. Don't think we'll take our blankets and stuff this year! Oh, well...

I did wonder if you all knew they lyrics to this song...I don't know who does it or anything and it is driving me crazy...

The only part of the lyrics I know go something like this...

You gotta have pride!
Don't be ashamed, our love is the same!
I got pride!
I am what I am, I'm takin' a stand!
I've got pride....


No one at the record store had a clue and I would really like to own it. It makes me feels so good!

Happy Pride!!!!
6 Said Somethings| Say Something!

GAY PRIDE [02 Jun 2005|08:12pm]
What is going on? Can someone explain it to me?

Where is our Gay Pride?!?!

What has happened?

Is this another sign of an apathetic age? I almost feel ashamed of my peers!

Now please understand, I am NOT saying that if you don't go to a Pride Event then you aren't proud that you're gay or that you aren't gay. I am saying that there is a tremendous importance to these events and HAVING pride in your gayness. And Pride events gives people who are otherwise ostracized and place of solidarity!

I saw a gay poll today and someone actually clicked the little box that says they don't think we need Gay Pride! I was totally and completely shocked. Are people living in depravation tanks? Do they not have any clue as to what our gay ancestors went through? Read more...Collapse )

"You can be homosexual from birth, but you can't be gay unless you voluntarily enter the gay world, a culture all it's own. Gays understand straights; but straights don't understand gays any more than whites understand blacks or Christians understand Jews, however good their intentions. Gay is a unique minority: strictly elective. IF, called to the colors, you resist, no one may ever know who you really are."

And THAT is why Gay Pride is SO important.

Are you homosexual? Or are you gay? It's up to you...
18 Said Somethings| Say Something!

Guess What? [01 Jun 2005|12:50pm]
My ex-neighbor called!!!!!!

**panick attack**

He wants to come over this afternoon even though it rained all night and morning and dig up those plants...and I talked him into waiting until my honey is home...

Cuz suddenly my honey thinks he's hot after all...

GOD! Do you think two guys will scare him off? There was a really hot quality to his voice..almost a...panting...

Do you think there could be a three way?!?!?!?!?!?!
14 Said Somethings| Say Something!

Well, I Am Home and I am Totally Exhausted! [30 May 2005|06:43am]
...but BOY did I have a GREAT time! Best Con I've been to in like...forever! They were getting dull or something...

...the guests were wonderful...so friendly and kind and approachable...

...got my books autographed and found out George's new book should FINALLY be coming out!

Attendance was WAY up and it wasn't all those really weird pocket protector people, but lots of people from really diverse backgrounds! It was a blast! Made a new lesbian friend too. Totally lip-stick lesbian and we giggled like crazy talking about how we couldn't stand each other's genitalia and how we BOTH knew that we were GAY/LESBIAN. Her name was Amanda and her nick name is Demanda! LOL! I love it and would take it but chilangito says I'm supposed to be Naughty Boy!

**laugh**laugh**laugh**laugh**laugh**

I partied until like 3:30 in the morning on Friday at least and staggered back to my room and our hottie straight roommate was totally zonked out and I thought about peeking under his covers to finally get a look at his stuff (I hate that word "junk" cuz baby, dicks are NOT junk!!), but I was good and I didn't...

Had lots of fun the next day and the masquerade was fun, if small. More friends showed up and lots of hugging was done. Art show was incredible and I almost bought this hot piece with this mostly naked guy but just didn't have the budget.

Saw the two people who are going to be in charge of the Convention next year and they are going to be WAY fun. One of them was in the masquerade as Darth Barbie! She was historical! OMG! I thought I would DIE laughing. The other one was this hot little bear, daddy-type. Bordering on too stocky (he can lose some weight!), but so sweet, and sexy, and funny, and real, and handsome and... ...YES!!! He's gay! I just wanted to climb in his lap and say, "Oh, I love you Daddy...and I've been a baaaaaad boy!"

You know, I like young guys and even smooth guys and all! I do! But every time I've slept with a guy in his 30s or 40s, they are sooooooooooooo fucking good in BED! I mean, OMG! They do things with their tounges and finders that drive me WILD! They really know how to fuck, whether they are giving it or taking it!

Did buy this amazing piece of blue amber! WOW! Did you even know that amber came in blue?? I sure didn't... Lady said it makes up only two tenths of one percent of all the amber found. And I got it for a good price!!!!! And the bear bought a blue amber ring!

The only bad thing that happened was the HOTTIE convention roommate who I've been wearing down over the last couple of years (and whose gotten a divorce and whose been finally starting to look at me like I'm candy) suddenly got real lucky and got laid twice (by women!). So I didn't get him after all. DAMN! He had never ever roomed with anyone and wanted to room with two gay guys! Two gay guys that he knew wanted him!

I guess he got scared... Oh, well...

I did finally see his stuff. He would never show it to me cuz he said he was embarrassed that it was too small. It wasn't. He'd been scratching his crotch while he was laying there snoring and his stuff fell out the leg hole of his underwear and there it was! Big old balls and a short fat softy only making me wonder how big it got went it was hard! I was very nice. And then he starts rubbing it and I am like...he's got to be teasing me! But suddenly he covers up and turns over and I guess he chickened out again!

But that was okay! Still had nice sex with my sweetie.

AND there is this other straight guy I've lusted after for a long time and his new wife pushed my hand down his pants and told me to fondle to my heart's content! I couldn't believe it! And later he was wearing a leather kilt and let me get a damn good luck underneath! VERY nice dick! AND his wife said I could do a lot more than that as long as she could take pictures but...I just wasn't ready for that. Who knows where they'd turn up!?!?

And had a great weekend and I'm worn out and think I need to go back to bed a rest some more!

Hope you all are having a GREAT Memorial Day Weekend!
16 Said Somethings| Say Something!

Question... [27 May 2005|02:29pm]
...can you jerk off too many times a day?

I love having orgasms...everthing about it...the feelings...the squirting...the smell...everything...

...can you jerk off too many times a day?
21 Said Somethings| Say Something!

Gorgeous Day! [27 May 2005|08:40am]
Need to get off line for at least a while and do laundry and get all the camping gear from last weekend out of the car... We didn't wind up camping but we did have a three-way! **blush**

Going away this weekend to a convention... George RR Martin will be there (he helped create the TV series Beauty and the Beast). We are rooming with this guy I have thought was hot forever... He is straight. He is letting us stay in his king-sized bed with him.... Interesting, huh?

Gosh... Suddenly I realize my second entry to LJ is about sex. What image am I projecting? That I am some sorta big sex slut? I am not... Sex to me is important and it makes me feel so much closer to those men... I hope all this sex talk won't make people feel bad about me... Will my few new friends un-friend me? But I want to be honest!

I am far more than JUST sex. I love so many things and I really like people! I am a shy extrovert if that makes any sense. Some people think I am not shy cuz I will just walk up to most people and start talking, but they don't know that my chest is POUNDING inside and I am sweating all down my sides and I'm terrified that someone will sneer at me or tell me to go away...

This is a big social weekend so I will be dealing with all those issues!

Now to go work on my profile a little bit...reveal a little more info there!

And to get laundry done so we can go away for the weekend!
18 Said Somethings| Say Something!

Hey There... [26 May 2005|07:26am]
...here is my first entry. I guess this is sorta like a test or something. I wanted something here as entries in the future may be friends only and this way someone can tell me they want to be friended...

Hugs to Everyone!
8 Said Somethings| Say Something!

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